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Monday, February 18, 2008

Funny, but real spoken english!

In Tamilnadu, there is a well known person by name, Mr. Jeppier, Chairman of Sathyabama deemed university and some more self financing colleges who always speaks in English. That college students have collected & published a book by name "Jappier's Spoken English". Now, here are some classic English sentences from the great "Jappier's Spoken English".

# At the ground:
All of you stand in a straight circle. There is no wind in the balloon. The girl with the mirror please comes her... (i.e. girl with specs please come here).

# To a boy, angrily:
I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?

# While punishing students:
You, rotate the ground four times... You, go and understand the tree... You three of you stand together separately. Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)

# While addressing students about Dress Code: (he is very strict about this)
Every body should wear dress to college.
Boys no proplum.
Girls are pig proplum. (pig=big)
Girls should wear only slawar no nitee.

# Sir at his best:
Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see one of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next day at school... (to that boy) - "Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the Cinema Theatre".

# Sir at his best inside the Class room:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
Shhh... Quiet, boys... the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor.
You, meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class.)
Both of you three get out of the class.
Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today...
Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver...
Take 5 cm wire of any length....

# Last but not the least some Jeppiar experiences...
Once Sir had come late to a college function, by the time he reached, the function had begun, so he went to the dais, and said, sorry I am late, because on the way my car hit 2 muttons (Meaning goats).

# At Sathyabama college day 2002:
"This college strict u the worry no .... U get good marks, I the happy, tomorrow u get good job, jpr the happy, tomorrow u marry I the enjoy".

# At St. Josephs college of engineering fresh years day 2003:
"No ragging this college. Anybody rag we arrest the police "

Enjoy this English, but don't forget your English!!! :)